Friday, 10 April 2009

Carrion Jane

I actually came across this a few months ago - but assumed it was some kind of spoof. Apparently not: yes, there really is a novel called 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' (with a truly gruesome cover), which has reached number 12 in the Amazon charts. This literary 'mash-up' by LA TV writer Seth Grahame-Smith sees Netherfield overrun by the undead and Elizabeth Bennet as a Regency Buffy. Apparently all five Bennet girls have been trained in martial arts by Shaolin monks in China. Well, of course. We knew that. The blending of the original Austen and the new take on her world is virtually seamless: sisters at a ball are described as 'fine women, with an air of decided fashion, but little in the way of combat training.'

Aren't you just kicking yourself you didn't think of this, when it's blindingly obvious that modern readers want to move away from quadrilles and needlework to ninja action, from conversing at an elegant ball to kicking a zombie in its decaying balls? We are promised a lot of vomiting. Goody. Grahame-Smith promises that 'at least one major character slowly becomes a zombie in the course of the book.' Apart from the reader, that is?

If putrefaction isn't enough to satisfy your tastes, dear Jane will be forced into arranged marriages with other genres, so here's more for you to look forward to: in a Marvel comic the Dashwood girls will gad about with the Fantastic Four. There will be a vampire novel, called 'Jane Bites Back'. And this is my favourite, I have to say, because of the title: a film in which Austen fights with aliens: 'Pride and Predator'.

I bet you think I should have posted this on April Fool's Day, don't you?

Now pass me the hartshorn, my dear: I feel a fit of the vapours coming on.

4 comments:

Lane said...

I thought it was a spoof too and had to go and check the reviews. Boggling is the only word I can think of. Putrifyingly boggling. But your post made me laugh - so thank you:-)

I think I need some smelling now to recover my 'ladylike' composure. The cover is freaky!

Hope you've had a good weekend Lorna. I am almost Lindor shaped. x

KAREN said...

For heaven's sake :oO I quite like the idea of a new take on a classic (ie ITV's Lost in Austen, although I thought that could have been better!) but zombie/vampire stories are probably my least favourite of all! I don't think I'll be buying ...

Hope you had a lovely Easter - I've just caved in and eaten TWO Creme Eggs!!

Lorna F said...

Lane - yes, I had a nice Easter. Lindors are involved here too! Glad you had a laugh at the post - look at my new one for more - get those smelling salts out again! x

Karen - two Creme eggs? Why stop at two?

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